Relationship Alignment

"Being in alignment is more important than feeding the ego’s need of being right.  This is true for all relationships.” - David Hawkins

“A couple’s well-being is primary.  The source of your joy is not in winning an argument it’s being in alignment.” - David Hawkins

“A relationship built on “winningness” is not going to be gratifying.” - *David Hawkins

David Hawkins on Relationships

As I got older and settled into who I was, I understood this concept more and more.  I had an especially trying relationship that had done a number on my self-esteem and when I began to quell my desire to be right in a new relationship I felt powerless and vulnerable at first.  This feeling was definitely heightened by the previous relationship where I was being verbally degraded on a consistent basis and felt the need to defend myself.  When I felt this I talked myself out of that feeling by reassuring myself that this new relationship is a different situation and is not the same person.  I can trust this person because I have evidence of them being “care-full” with my feelings (that’s another thing I had to learn: make sure the person you’re with pays attention to and nurtures your feelings). 

Once I was able to feel secure emotionally I allowed myself to be vulnerable and surprisingly I felt more “power-full.”  This was a different feeling than before where I was holding on to power, this was a feeling of letting power flow through me because I was connecting to a larger source of power. 

I still felt the need to be right but I let go of it because “our” happiness was more important to me than just “my” happiness.

*David Hawkins was a philosopher/scientist who was the official historian of the Manhattan Project.  He was also a “genius award” recipient of the MacArthur Foundation.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Hawkins_(philosopher)