Relationship Alignment
"Being in alignment is more important than feeding the ego’s
need of being right. This is true for
all relationships.” - David Hawkins
“A couple’s well-being is primary. The source of your joy is not in winning an
argument it’s being in alignment.” - David Hawkins
“A relationship built on “winningness” is not going to be
gratifying.” - *David Hawkins
As I got older and settled into who I was, I understood this
concept more and more. I had an
especially trying relationship that had done a number on my self-esteem and when
I began to quell my desire to be right in a new relationship I felt powerless
and vulnerable at first. This feeling
was definitely heightened by the previous relationship where I was being verbally
degraded on a consistent basis and felt the need to defend myself. When I felt this I talked myself out of that
feeling by reassuring myself that this new relationship is a different
situation and is not the same person. I
can trust this person because I have evidence of them being “care-full” with my
feelings (that’s another thing I had to learn: make sure the person you’re with
pays attention to and nurtures your feelings).
Once I was able to feel secure emotionally I allowed myself to be
vulnerable and surprisingly I felt more “power-full.” This was a different feeling than before
where I was holding on to power, this was a feeling of letting power flow
through me because I was connecting to a larger source of power.
I still felt the need to be right but I let go of it because
“our” happiness was more important to me than just “my” happiness.
*David Hawkins was a philosopher/scientist who was the
official historian of the Manhattan Project.
He was also a “genius award” recipient of the MacArthur Foundation.
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